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The older I get, the more I've got used to the life. On the one hand, its probably supposed to happen, but on the other – in my childhood, life seemed to me more exciting, all those adventures and mysteries waiting to be unraveled. And reflecting on the past is perhaps crucial to stop a year, part of my life sail away to the land called Yesterday.

So here is list of my favorite things from this last year:

I've started to eat black bread and almost quit eating white, its not good or bad, but just so shocking, because it used to be vice versa.

I have been to see 3 ballets in this fall, my favorite was 2^nd act of Onegin.

I have an oven, so the wonderful world of baking has opened up for me.

I am an auntie for 3 wonderful girls, and looking forward for last two to grow a bit, so I can enjoy them as much as I am enjoying 2-year-old Kerti. :) Being an aunt gives you lots of fun, and no obligations and responsibility to raise them to be proper people. :)

I am studying again and though I have been struggling with writing essays, I have enjoyed studying. I am very satisfied that 2-year break from uni has made me appreciate and be open to studying more, and also to see the value of Estonian education system – to be able to study for free. It's a pity that there are not so many part-time jobs for students.

The Best Invention prize would go to: Sauna. Never has let me down!

The best author of the year (for me) would be: Tommy Hellsten. Don't get me wrong, I like him actually because there are things, which I don't agree what he has written. And earlier this year also Donald Miller and his book Blue Jazz.

The best movie is definitely: As it is in heaven, original title: Sa som i himmelen. It's a Swedish movie. But a great movie is also Rabbit-proof fence, should be good for all down-under lovers. :)

Music Awards would go to: Fernando Stern, Mari Kalkun, Villu Veski and Sofia Rubina (concert called “Life is a journey”), Laura Remmel (the best newcomer I'd say).

The best photographer and also beard-grower: Mati Lohu

The most faithful and supporting people (for me): my parents and Külli!

The best blog: Peeter Vardja, in spite he thinks I'm Mad! :)

The funniest facial expressions' award goes to: Gerd Viidul. :)

The fastest and furiest award in verbal communication goes to: Kaki (kadri veider)

The best Saaremaa Naine award would go to: KIKU, who has learned quite a bit this year, I'd say (ask her to make you Mexican chicken thingie with tortillas... yummie) and she is the first roomie I've ever had, who loves coffee as much as I do!!!

The most committed lecturers: Rene Mõttus (his hand-outs are just something extraordinary) and Anu Realo (demanding, but it has made me learn more).

I am thankful for the experience that I was able to enjoy for approximately eight months – my adventure in Oceania (like my round-trip ticket of Emirates was named). Some of you have asked me – has it changed you?

And it always seems to be impossible to answer it – as a psychology student, I'd have to say – I'm still just Anni. But, some days, now back to home – I realise that some of my convictions, values, have changed. Some things have become harder to tolerate – I've seen ways of communicating in other countries, which I personally would prefer and feel more comfortable with – so having seen something better (for me), has made it harder to adapt to it. That isn't anything new to know, but it is new to experience it. My flatmate could surely write pages of my struggles to get used to the life back at home.

And one of the greatest gifts what that trip gave me, is that I have seen different countries, far from us – Sri Lanka, Sinapor, Thailand, New Zealand, and my precious Australia. And again – just knowing as knowing math or some grammar rules, is one thing, but really having experienced the difference in people's relationships, values, habits, beliefs is something what takes you aback and changes you, like no mathematical knowledge can do. I think this last year gave me many situations to learn, that you can love and respect people or a person, even without understanding, accepting and liking all the things what other person does or is. And this is perhaps the most valuable lesson and a gift that life can offer, because it has also made me love myself more – in spite of all ..., which I actually don't enjoy that much about myself, my life or the way I sometimes treat people and God.

But, also has made me realise more that, the things which I think are great for example books, movies, cafes, or traveling, are not always found so great by other people. That's why it is so hard to recommend a good psychologist or therapist, when I'm sometimes asked.

This isn't anything new as well to you – everyone knows, that people are different, but still, at least I sometimes seem to forget it. And especially recently, I have to remind myself, that life is messy – a hammer is good only for one problem – it helps a lot when you're faced with a nail to be hammered. :) But it is quite damaging to use for opening doors – a key would be a much wiser choice. So sometimes, when I get myself really excited about things I have discovered of found effective and helpful, I'll need to remind myself – these are all just tools to tackle specific problems not universal solutions.

And sometimes it is hard to notice the voice inside me, which says – that is not for you. I was talking to a friend the other day, and he told me a story. Some time ago he signed up for a 4-day seminar, which actually for me seemed to have been 4-days of psychotherapy. And he was not very satisfied and definitely did not find a long lost connection between his soul and body, but instead, even after some years, he still felt that this had been very uncomfortable experience. This reminded me and him that psychotherapy and it's techniques are also tools, which can damage people enormously, when used in unsuitable way. Yes, that is nothing new, but still – I have encountered too many occasions when people, companies and organisations who buy or attend seminars and trainings, without really doing a bit of backround check-up. And end up in better cases, just losing money for nothing or sadly are being told false information or forced to go through exercises, which are harmful. So, it seems that sometimes we're tricked to believe that Armani-design and best quality(qualified) hammer, can be used instead of keys to open the doors. So my very specific advise is: psychotherapy is like a medicine, even when some pill healed your friend, it can still do nothing or even harm you. So please, keep in mind that Estonia is like the rest of the world – there are people, who claim to be psychologists and some of them actually are not, and but trust yourself as a first thing. Actually, telling that to a client, is part of psychologists' work ethic – relationship or if you prefer to call “chemistry” is so big part of psychotherapy, that being qualified and trained is just one thing among others, which make a therapy effective.

Often I become hesitant when someone claims extremely confidently knowing a remedy or being able to heal, no matter what kind of problems they have or even if they seem to do rather well and don't want to be treated at all. What worries me, is that they have forgotten themselves and also made us to forget that their skills are too simply a hammer, which is great to hammer a nail, but is quite useless for cooking, cleaning or ... :)